We are 10 Years ago
by blanko
Summary: Some things never change and Amy hates it. She also hates partying.
1. Chapter 1

**We are 10 years ago**

Birds are chirping right above her, the subtle rustling of her makeshift curtain and the sweat-soaked bed covers meant that her procrastination must stop at once.

She wonders though, how long since the birds nested on her small chipped ceiling above her window. It works better than the over-the-top digital clock that Lauren gave her on her 18th birthday. It talks a lot and have this deep android voice that tells time and nags about how great this new day will be, at least the birds have a soothing effect.

But alas! It's a new day again, she exchanged shifts with Karen because that's what good friends do when that said friend's boyfriend secretly told you he's proposing to her this weekend. No one minds that you just did 3 nights straight and that it's your birthday this coming Monday.

Normally, she would question her life choices or extend the muffled shouts to her favorite badbadzmaru stuffed toy. She didn't though because well, not relevant at all.

On another note, she's one of the few people who loves her job and doesn't mind having double shifts and whatnots.

Spending time with sick kids was the second best decision of her life so far. She loves playing with them and making them laugh and just plain talking to them makes her forget about bad life choices.

Her best decision was by far the most crucial of all but a necessary action nonetheless and Karma hated her for it. They were never the same since.

But that's a story for another time, right now, she needs to shower and get to!

* * *

Caleb's 9 years old, he's undergoing chemotherapy for a year now, the newborn in their family was another thing altogether so his dad had to make it work through his 9-5 job.

It was her responsibility to make sure the kid's all sunshine and rainbows, atleast.

"Do you think my sister will have cancer too?"

"No kiddo."

"She's lucky then coz The needles hurt like a bitch."

"Woah! Easy on the lingo! Who taught you that? I never taught you that?!"

The boy smiles sheepishly "sorry."

"Less bad words, more coloring. Okay? You missed the dragon's paws."

How could she question her life when these kids had it worst? She tries to remember that every single time.

It was quarter past ten when her shift ended. Shane was sitting on the hood of her car with a box of cream puffs in hand. His eyebrow looks gorgeous as ever as is his fashion sense.

"Not my birthday yet." She shrugs trying to not sound like a giddy kid with too much sugar intake.

"Oh hush, sweetpea! Come give me a bear hug."

And she did because for whatever unknown reasons, Shane makes his way to her birthday every year. He makes her wear her best dress,takes her out on a fancy dinner, lounge in a coffee shop where they would laugh about crazy stupid things the other did then she'll drive him back to the airport before sunrise without much fuss or anything, just the gift of a time well spent with a friend. A very good friend.

She's excited but also anxious and a wee bit doubtful as to why Shane is here two nights before her birthday.

He pats her back through the embrace "You must be wondering."

"Yeah, why are you here? I mean I'm expecting to see you but not until Monday but don't get me wrong, Its nice to see you." She pulls back

"And yada yada yada... Of course it's nice to see me, have you seen me?" He stands up and curtsies. "I'll tell you when we home."

She would ask but with Shane, she learns it's better to give in.

* * *

The shriek she heard was too familiar not to recognize because there's only one person she knows who does that annoyingly. Lauren embrace reminds her of her mom.

"It's so good to finally see you! Our parents sent their regards!"

"I'm sure they did." Because sending her to retreat camps and boarding school wasn't enough.

"They're old people, they have their wicked ways,it's best not to meddle...but you already know that." She had to give it to Lauren, she really did love her mom and they really get along pretty well.

"It's fine. Tell them I'm fine." Muttering the last part to herself "if they care."

"Of course they do!" Lauren's voice is okay within the first five minutes, after that, it's just shrieks and screeches.

"Are you pregnant again?" She turned to Shane for confirmation because the last time Lauren visited was to tell her that she's becoming an aunt for the second time. She loves her nieces though.

"If I have one more, you're gonna have to adopt it." Lauren rolls her eyes at her.

"Can we not speak of tiny humans. It irks me." Shane interjects.

"Very well, to business then."

"So?" She's really anxious to know what these two were up to. But before Lauren opens her mouth, Shane beats her to it.

"We're staying here til Monday, we can tell her then, right?" When Lauren agreed, "right! Right! Let's watch cable tv then."

* * *

If there's one thing she was sure of about her half sister, it was that she never really know how to keep a secret especially when she's excited and stirred in the right distraction. That distraction being pictures of her daughters growing up, her cooing and telling her how much she misses them.

So by the time her actual birthday came, she was furious and not excited at all. Worst birthday ever!

She's officially 26 now and according to an article she'd read "26 is the year that you wake up and realize someday you're going to die. Twenty-six is a mortality year — you're now closer to 30 than you are to 20, and it's when you first experience genuine pressure to settle down and, like, have your shit together already. This is the year of most people's dreaded "quarter-life crisis," and with good reason. You're going to die someday, and you're one year closer to it."

Lauren have a perfect man with picket fences and 2.5 kids. Shane is in a three year steady relationship with a striving model named Jonathan that is all levels of hot. ALSO! They're getting engage and Shane wants to invite everyone to his majestic wedding that will be happening sooner rather than later so he's rounding up his best friends over in an exclusively remote island in god knows where and share the good news. She's not comparing her life or anything but shitshitshishitshit! Her clock's ticking faster than ever now.

She can't complain because she have a job she loves and is passionate about, right? She's really good with kids and her co-workers are her good friends, in fact! Karen's boyfriend already invited her to their wedding and oh shit! of course it's another wedding. Her clock is really ticking and fuck it, fuck them because she's perfectly happy how she is.

She doesn't need to be in a relationship, she doesn't need someone to cuddle on the couch and watch tv with her, most of all she doesn't need another human being to care for because yeah, she's struggling as it is.

And it sucks because it started to dawn on her, being the odd wheel to group gatherings and having noone to share her Venti Starbucks coffee with, she never have someone to hold her hand and calm her down when she gets agitated.

It sucks because whenever she was close to something special, she gets anxious and run out the first sign she gets, one night stands were worst because no matter how much she wanted it to work, her conscience gets the best of her.

In her 26 years of existence, only Karma made her feel something that made her want to fight for it. There's this other girl but well, let's just not get to that anymore, okay?

"I think we broke her." She heard Lauren say

"She's just over thinking and probably doing an entire monologue in her head." Shane continues to sip on his mug, not giving it much thought

"I told you this is a bad idea." Lauren leaves her to herself with her badbadzmaru stuffed toy covering her face and sulking on the sofa.

"She'll get over it. Are you finished packing for her?"

She didn't see it but Lauren must have nod her answer while Shane speaks again "Alright, fine… i'll do the pep talk now, it is my engagement party after all, hence i have to do everything by myself including but not limited to dragging a wallowing friend's ass to an exclusive island against her will."

Lauren's tone is serious when she speaks next "You invited Karma, What did you expect? Squeals?"

Shane must have realized the gravity of the situation because suddenly he's kneeling beside her and is cautiously touching her arm. After sighing dramatically he finally decided to take it back "I'll invoke Karma's invite."

Which she doesn't expect at all to come out of Shane's mouth and for even thinking it!

She sits up in an instant. To heck with bad history and high school grudges because like the article said, she's going to die someday and she's already one year closer to it so again what the heck, right?! It's only Karma, she's probably happy and confident and doesn't harbor any grudges whatsoever for she's the cool one afterall. Amy, not so much but she can be civil. Yep, civil she will be.

"You're right, i'm over acting. I wouldn't miss your engagement party for anything in the world." she says but what she meant was "You've been the best friend I never had since I decided to be a prick and left Karma without giving her the heads up, thanks for not giving up on me."

Lauren squeals and is hugging both of them in an instant " This will be the best week ever!"

Yeah? Maybe? or Worst ever? but who cares, Shane throws the best party if anything, atleast the expensive drinks will help.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**We are 10 Years Ago**

**Chapter 2**

_a/n: this fic is kind of a sequel to "10 old fashioned dating habits we should make cool again by Kate bailey" but it can stand alone as it is i think? i hope you like this chapter. i wanted to post this right after i'm done screaming fucks to my computer screen, the last episode was hurtful and real and i hate that i love it, so here you go. please review and let me know what you think?_

"There's a calm surrender to the rush of day..." Is stuck on repeat in her head, she forgot what's next of the lion king lyrics so she just hum it to herself trying not to wake the blonde in front of her.

Their taking a detour towards New York to get to Liam because he can't leave his bar unattended and apparently, Shane's doing the car pooling even though they're all in their mid-twenties and can travel well enough by themselves.

Lauren called shot gun leaving her no choice but to take the backseat. It always has to be that way isn't it? She takes the backseat whenever, wherever and gets comfortable with it as she watch life pass her by. I mean, not that she's comparing her life again and having pathetic thoughts about her pathetic choices again, right? It's not the point, no. Of course not, she's the type of person who takes what she can get out of the situation. It's simpler that way. Complications were high school dilemmas.

The last she'd heard of Karma, she was also in NewYork but no one ever mentioned her ex best friend to her since their fallout so she have no idea where Karma is at the moment.

Four hours and a hundred of curses after due to traffic, they've reached Liam's bar dehydrated and in dire need of stretch.

It's quaint and upscale by the looks of it. Who knew Liam can pull it off in NYC, huh? Shane wanted to show it to her last year but she found many excuses to turn his offer down. Now she wonders... What if she didn't?

Anyway, Liam had grown a beard and took Shane's fashion advice to heart. He's now okay to look at, not tolerable unlike in high school. He still got this wide eyed blank expression whenever he sees her so there's that, though there's plenty of questions swirling in her head, she kept to herself and offered him a tight lip smile in return. Standing here again with them feels like a lifetime ago, it's awkward yet some familiarity wouldn't hurt. Uh huh.

"It's good to see you! You look gorgeous Amy." Then there's that uncomfortable touch between them and Liam look over to Shane's direction waiting for some kind of permission so when he nods, he steps a little closer than necessary and drapes his lanky arms over her.

You see, the last time this happened was so prehistoric that she'd rather not talk about it anymore but it stirs the same feelings, not the nice kind and she hates it because it was staged, she had asked for it then, this one's different, this one says all the things she'd rather not hear but given to her anyway, an act of kindness? Apologies? Whatever it was, Liam's little squeeze and sigh before he let go made her systems constricted in all ways but good.

It reminded her why coming here is a bad idea. It reminded her of passive aggressive decisions, young love, identity crisis and misconceptions. Worst of all, it reminded her of Karma.

"You too. Not that colorless anymore, I see?"She tries. He doesn't get it but he tries and that's what this is all about, right? Trying.

Shane and Lauren's laughter broke the spell. Liam served dinner and concocted sweet alcoholic beverages for them to fancy over. He seems to be passionate about his job, his employees respect him, so far from the teenage version vampire wannabe she used to avoid in hallways during recess. She likes this version better.

It gave her a sense of relief when she handed him the piece of paper years ago...Karma was wrong, he's not like her at all. There's just no way about it.

* * *

But like all good things, the worst is inevitable.

The inevitable came in the form of Lauren's eye roll, Shane's squeak and Liam abruptly getting out of his seat and smiling sheepishly.

She couldn't find words, the air feels denser and her skin thickens the closer it lurks. The walls are better to be closing in on her because breathing is the hardest thing right now.

KARMA.

Alicia Key's song started playing in her head. Yeah, if only these things have themed songs with them, It will never be this but no one has to know that and it has kind of a certain ring to it.

"Sorry! Sorry! I'm late! My boss was having a hard time me leaving for a week so I had to make sure everything's in order." She then proceeded to embrace everyone.

First things first: 1. She knew about Karma being invited. 2. Does she have to be here? Right now?! Like at this fucking moment where she's only starting to appreciate what adulthood brought to Liam Booker?!

She likes to think that she's doing it right, smiling when necessary, nodding along, looking in everyone's eyes instead of through it and occasionally laughing. Yep, just like a keyed bunny.

Except when it was her turn to be hug and she stood there not frozen but backing away to a certain level of comfort space.

Karma was vigilant enough to respect her privacy? Yeah, privacy. She just smiled, not describing that smile though for reasons being "I don't want to overthink it".

"Okay! Very well then! My little army is complete, my Fiancé is meeting us on the island so gather up ladies and man, we have a flight to catch." Shane had to tap her shoulder to bring her back in the moment.

Shane knows how she ticks and she's thankful he's not being a bitch about it.

* * *

We all have that one seating arrangement we hated in college, For her is this plane seat which Shane ignored nonchalantly and which Lauren was all but giving.

They may have their differences for a while but Lauren, when they finally got to spend time together was everything she was wrong about. She stood up for her many times, talking their parents out of sending her to retreat camps and gay interventions as so they'd like to put it.

Lauren doesn't sugarcoat things for her, she tells her exactly what she thinks and not what she likes to hear. They still have many arguments and setbacks but when push comes to shove, she was there.

In a way, she'd accepted the fact that she has a sister whether by marriage or by law, it doesn't matter anymore. She stood by her side as her maid of honor even when her dress was like having a party of drunken caterpillars underneath the expensive satin she made her wear. She let her scream at her while gripping her hand when her first niece was born.

Lauren let her in when her first real girlfriend broke up with her for some biker girl. That was worth the books and even though they never say it out loud, they always have each other's back when push comes to shove.

The glares that Lauren throws at Shane when he ignored her silent protests to exchange seats with her was expected and very much needed but Shane's a mischievous ploy driven fox that gets his way in everything so she ended up sitting in between wolverine and Karma. When really, all she wanted was the window seat, doesn't matter who's beside her. Well, not really.

She was fidgeting and trying not to move a single muscle on her left side so she ended up elbowing wolverine's arms from time to time.

And to think that he gets it, that his apologetic smiles meant he understands but nope, he opens his mouth and the first thing that comes out is "Are you nervous? It's just a three hour flight."

In which she could've said "No." And leave it at that But Karma beat her to it and tells him "Amy's not fond of airplanes, and heights and being in an enclosed place for too long." Like it's the most natural thing in the world, with her hair bouncing gracefully, like they're still best friends and her suddenly holding Amy's left hand as if to calm her was not excruciatingly painful at all. It was what flared her system, she jolted out of her seat... standing... not knowing what to do next but the friendly flight attendant tapped her shoulder and asked her to kindly take a seat because they're taking off shortly.

Seat she did and Karma looks at her and smiles and all she could do was swallow the lump in her throat.

Lauren asked if she's okay, she managed to tell her she is but her left hand isn't because it's having slight tremors and having heart palpitations from the other hand that was holding it. Could she tell her that?

She didn't and the whole flight was all about her left hand being stuck on the arm seat and not moving at all.

That is until sleep took over and she was leaning a little towards the left where a willing shoulder was ready to catch her lolling head.

Unbeknownst to Amy and everyone on the plane, a certain red hair was happily giving in to her own slumber but not without a pathetic blissful smile plastered in place.

Except the flight attendant, it's her job to know what is happening on her plane.

**Tbc**

_p.s. thanks for the warm welcome and appreciation! your words are sunshine and rainbows!_


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